Do you sabotage your own success? How to get rid of self-sabotaging behaviour

When part of your personality acts in conflict with another part of your personality, it is referred to as self-sabotage. If you want to succeed, why do you sabotage it with your behaviour? Bad habits, negative self-talk, and other self-defeating behaviors can come from many sources.

Do you sabotage your own success? How to get rid of self-sabotaging behaviour
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Why do One Have Self-sabotaging Behaviour?

Self-sabotage is when part of your personality acts in conflict with another part of your personality. If you want to succeed, why do you sabotage it with your behavior? Bad habits, negative self-talk, and other self-defeating behaviors can come from many sources.

Self-sabotage is often associated with poor self-esteem, low self-worth, and no self-confidence. You can suffer from this type of behavior pattern because you can’t effectively control your emotions. You react to circumstances or people in ways that prevent you from reaching your goals.

​Also read How to love yourself
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Self-sabotage is used to cope during difficult situations or times when you feel like you are not capable or worthy.

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain

​Here are four causes of self-defeating behaviour:
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• Anticipating failure. You may be accustomed to situations failing or not turning out as you hoped. Dysfunctional or negative people may be pulling you down. You could be afraid to try something different because you don’t want to risk failing.

• Bad habits. Unhealthy behaviors or thoughts like excessive drinking, smoking, uncontrolled anger, or overeating can cause you to stick with what is familiar. You tell yourself you can’t change these habits so why try.

Also read 5 Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence questions
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• Internalized negative thoughts. If you grew up with a parent who always saw the negative side of everything, worried about what could go wrong, or how they looked to others, you may have taken on a similar attitude without even knowing it.

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• Listening to your critical inner voice. This voice is formed from experiences early in our life. You internalize the attitudes of others directed toward you. Because others may have seen you as lazy, you may have grown up feeling useless. Your self-sabotaging inner voice might tell you not to try. For example, “Why bother? You’ll never succeed anyway.”

Printable Self Sabotage Workbook, Digital eBook: How to Overcome the Emotions that Hold you Back

​The above download can be purchased from Etsy HERE

Self-sabotage is often an unconscious thought or behaviour that is in direct conflict with our desire to succeed.

​Avoid Self-Sabotage Success:

Now that you know why you are sabotaging your success, you need to learn how to avoid these thoughts and behaviors to achieve the success you desire. To do this you need to be aware of when you are in this state.

Here are some characteristics, thoughts, and behaviors to watch for:

• Fear of failure, taking risks or making mistakes
• Not being able to plan ahead
• Inability to say “no” to others
• Not considering the consequences of your actions or not thinking carefully before making a decision
• Inability to admit mistakes or errors
• Worrying constantly, procrastinating
• Having unrealistic expectations, expecting perfectionism
• Critically judging yourself or others and comparing yourself to others
• Always complaining about people, circumstances, or perceived bad luck
• Spending more than you make
• Limiting beliefs, emotions, and attitudes
• Focusing on what’s not working or on wishful daydreams

​Recognizing and counteracting self-sabotage:

• Fear of failure, success, taking risks or making mistakes – Everyone has this fear at some point on the journey to success. This is often just a fear of change. Think about what is the worst that can happen? Then turn it around....What’s the best thing that can happen? Don’t dwell on what could go wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. The key is to learn from them.

 

• Inability to move forward because of too many options – Having too many options can lead to decision paralysis. The best way to avoid this is to take action. Pick one thing to do and get started.

 

• Giving up when things get tough – This is a big one for many people, especially in the world of doing business on the internet. It’s so easy to start a blog but, when you don’t see success quickly, you give up. To avoid this behavior, set smart, realistic goals and work towards them. Set up daily tasks toward achieving these goals and stick with it.

Also read The power of Self-Reflection  
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• Spending more than you are bringing in – Invest in the tools and resources that will help you grow and succeed. Avoid spending money on junk and everything that comes across your monitor. Think carefully about purchases. Decide how you will implement them before you spend anything.

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• Inability to say “no” – Your time is your most valuable asset. It’s non-renewable. Don’t be afraid to tell others you can’t do something or that you aren’t available at this time. Being able to say no frees up your time for what is important to your success.

The Fertile Mind ~ Changing Your Thoughts to Reap a Better Life, BONUS-Transitions & Transformations, Digital Download, 2 SELF-STUDY Courses

​The above study courses can be purchased from Etsy HERE

• Denying responsibility – Accept the part you play in the success or failure of a project. Be responsible for your success by doing the work and admitting when you make a mistake or fail just as often as when you succeed.

Also Read Step by step to love yourself
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• Negative self-talk – You tell yourself you aren’t good enough, smart enough, or technically savvy enough. It’s best left out of your thoughts. Focus on positive stories. Tell yourself you are good enough, you can learn what you need to know, or you are smart enough. Back those stories up with facts of “a time when” you proved you were good enough, smart enough, or overcame a technology hurdle.

​Be responsible for your success by doing the work and admitting when you make a mistake or fail just as often as when you succeed.

“Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

• Disregarding behaviours – Identify the self-sabotaging behaviour that prevents you from moving forward. Be consciously aware of your actions and the decisions you make. Pinpoint specific triggers and remove them if possible. Identify limiting beliefs and work on transforming them into empowering beliefs.  

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• Ignoring mistakes – Learn from your mistakes. Take time to reflect each day on how you reacted to circumstances you encountered that day.

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• Counteracting self-sabotage takes practice, vigilance, and constant control over your thoughts and actions. If necessary, write down any self-sabotaging thoughts or behaviors when you become aware of doing them. Then work on changing them.

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